8/29/08

Happy Friday!  This morning I tweeted “It’s a beautiful Friday in the Queen City – what are you going to do with it?”  And I realized that we really do get to decide how we spend each and every day! And I am doing several things with my day:

1. Planning a healthy and inexpensive lunch with a friend – then time to go to Wal Mart and figure out a new iPod carrying plan for working out!

2. Walking again!

3. Planning menus and grocery list for next week

4. Working – listening to music, moving forward with what I need to accomplish!

So…to fuel all that…

Breakfast:

whole wheat english muffin, egg, lowfat cheese, mandarin orange fruit cup (juice drained – ugh! I hate the juice in fruit cups!)

Lunch:

lean cuisine, veggies

Dinner:

Not sure yet – we are probably going out.  Maybe Mexican!

Exercise: Walk 1 – 1/2 hours!!

And….my facial is tomorrow~ my first one ever~ my first reward for 10 pounds lost!!

In Better Shape Than I Thought!

I walked for an hour and fifteen minutes tonight – outside, on a track – and I could have kept going but it got dark!
It seems like just a couple of weeks ago that I could barely do a half hour!!

Wow.

Oh, and my knee doesn’t hurt! But I’m going to ice it anyway, just in case.

I am way excited! Like way!!

Self-Sabotage and Emotional Eating

So I hit a goal yesterday – and was dealing with a personal mini-crisis – and so what did I do?

Did I celebrate the goal, and deal healthily with my crisis by doing something healthy (I think a walk or swim would have helped tremendously), or did I go to the grocery store and purchase a bag on Turtle Chex Mix and eat the whole damn thing?

That’s right – I took option 2.

And what did I learn?

Option two does not feel so good.  Not even while I was eating it. I felt guilty, stupid, sick, annoyed, let down and disappointed in myself.  Now, I can’t undo that but I can and will learn from it.

My lesson: It is all mental. It is all up to me.  Allowing outside negative influences to bring me down does nothing to strengthen me.  And most of all - it feels like CRAP and I want to feel good!

I have learned in the last few months that I can really motivate myself to do things by imagining how it will FEEL when it’s done.  (Read Lynn Grabhorn’s “Excuse Me, Your LIFE Is Waiting!” for more on this…awesome!)  So now that I have wallowed in how it feels to choose an unhealthy response, I can choose something different and feel something different next time.

Eating today:

Breakfast: Milk, ww english muffin, peanut butter, banana

Lunch: Lean cuisine, salad

Dinner: (Turkey) sausage and peppers pasta

Exercise: My clothes are packed and in the car for my trip to the gym – dropping the kids off and hubby is cooking dinner, which should be ready when I get home!

8-25-08

Happy Monday!

I am finishing up my healthy lunch as I type this, defying all recommendations to EAT when you eat and not do anything else.  That doesn’t work for me – the more I pay attention to food, the more I want!

Eating today:

Breakfast: WW english muffin, peanut butter, milk, fruit cup

Lunch – Lean Cuisine (with 2x the usual veggies), cucumber salad (cucumbers sliced very thin, onions sliced very thin, hot red pepper, rice vinegar)

Dinner – Mexican Pizza – vegetarian meal – ww crust, salsa, black beans, shredded cheese, red onion, tomatoes

WATER, Lemon Water after dinner tonight

Weigh loss: 8.2 pounds

GO ME!

Exercise – WATP 3 mile or the gym

My husband is out of town tomorrow night so I will have to work out at home, so maybe the gym would be a good thing tonight. I was up with the little one last night (nosebleed again) so getting up early this morning didn’t happen.

Sigh.

But – just because it didn’t happen today doesn’t mean it won’t happen tomorrow!

I just have to talk myself into it – HOW BAD DO I WANT IT??? RED BIKINI RED BIKINI RED BIKINI!!!!

Water Baby

I am such a water baby – I went to the Y to swim today, trying to rest/strengthen ye olde knee, and it was WONDERFUL!

I can’t swim like I am supposed to, and I am looking for some adult swimming lessons, but the point is that I was in the water moving and my heart rate was up for 45 minutes. And as I was kicking ass in the backstroke, I heard and felt something in my knee POP and I think it was something popping back into place, since now it feels sore instead of EXCRUCIATING FREAKING PAIN every time I take at step.  So. YAY!

Eating:

Breakfast – Panera. I gotta say, they give the impression of being a healthy place to eat, but their lack of healthy – whole grain, lean protein choices for breakfast makes me think twice. I ended up with a sauage and potato egg souffle and a fruit cup.  I probably should have had a half whole wheat bagel and peanut butter.   I had a small coffee with splenda and skim.  But I do have to say that this was healthier than my typical Panera brekfast – cinnamon crunch bagel and egg souffle and large coffee with half and half!

Lunch – ham and tukey on whole wheat

Dinner – (Tukey) Italian sausage and peppers, whole wheat pasta and salad.

I went to TJ’s today (Trader Joes!) and got some whole wheat tortillas to make wraps with for lunch!

Here’s an interesting article…

THURSDAYYYYY

Happy Thursday! Best known for, well, for being the day before Friday!

I did not get to work out last night after all. It was a two-fer loser, and me, I can spot a sign.

First, it was still 95 degrees when it was time to go to the track. Sorry, people. But I know my limits.

Second, I had decided I would do the Walk Away The Pounds 3 mile work out and I was on my way down the stairs to do it and my knee popped. And I almost fell down the stairs but luckily did not. I stayed off it for a bit, and the pain went from barely tolerable to not too bad, and so I walked around the house a little bit. It was the same this morning – sometimes I can walk as far as I want and no pain and sometimes by the time I’m on my third step I am on my knees.  So, I am going swimming tonight – I guess I need to let it rest some but I can’t stop working out completely. I am making progress, and I am not willing to just sit back on my ass. The guilt would kill me. And honestly, I look forward to my exercise. I feel so strong and vibrant and like the life that got sucked out of me at work is poured back in.  Before, this would have been a great excuse to give up.  Now, it’s a small bump in the road.

But, if swimming hurts it too I guess I will have to reevaluate. Perhaps get some actual medical advice. Blegh!

Today I am eating:

Breakfast – egg, english muffin, nectarine, milk

Snack – yogurt, 1 tsp brown sugar, blueberries

Lunch – Salad and grilled chicken

Snack – cottage cheese, grapes

Dinner – (Will be late, which is the only reason I am having snacks today) – no idea yet, something veggie and protein intense!

What do you know about Hoodia?

Wednesday – gym day – and the kids ASKED to go to the track with me and they want to take soccer balls so when they get bored on the playground they can play soccer and practice kicking.

WHA? This good example thing is working already??

So…

Breakfast – english muffin, peanut butter, nectarine, milk

Lunch – ???

Dinner – Small turkey sandwich, salad

Snack – Tomatoes, cottage cheese

Today is going to be a bit weird because my husband has to work late but I still want to get to the track by 7:30 so I can finish up by dark.  Totally doable – he may just have to hang out and wait for us to be done before we go pick him up.

So what do you know about Hoodia? I started hearing the stories about it a couple of years ago and I was DYING to try it, but I waited until a couple of months ago to actually buy it because I was waiting to hear about all the horrible side effects.  The worst I heard is that it doesn’t really work…and I have to be honest and say most of the time I completely forget that I have it.  You’re supposed to take it an hour before your biggest meal.  I just plain forget – so I guess my question is – is it worth remembering?

Evening Workout

I implemented the new plan and I went to the Y after dinner and I walked around the outdoor track for awhile and when it got dark I went inside and finished my 4 1/2 miles. !!!!!!!!!

There was a woman walking in front of me and guess what she was doing? Go ahead. Guess.

…

SHE WAS SMOKING!!

I have no words.

What the fuck is wrong with people that they can’t stop smoking long enough to walk?

***

There is a large area of the track that’s bordered by wild honeysuckle.  The first time around I don’t smell it. The second time around I notice it, and by the end of my walk it’s overpowering.  Do my sinuses open up that much as I exercise? What else am I missing?

***

Small epiphany.

It was a bit of a battle to get myself to go to the Y tonight. It’s hot. I’m tired. It would have been easy to just hang out in front of the TV. But I looked at the clock, and I said, “I’m going to the gym. It’s better than sitting here feeling guilty and making myself not eat.”

And as I was walking, a thought came to me. “I must commit to myself before I can truly commit to anyone else.”

So there I was. Committed. Walking. Proving something to someone.

***

There were a lot of people from another culture at the track. Families, grandparents, people playing soccer and people on the playground and people walking and running and women in sweats and women in their customary dress and people having fun. But see, I had a very difficult “friend break up” with a person from that culture recently and I had extrapolated my feelings about him and the situation we found ourselves in and projected them onto the entire culture. And I was muttering to myself some very unladylike, un-Christianlike things and I thought hey. You know what? Quit.  These people are not that person, and how can you think such awful things about an entire group of people based on one unfortunate situation? These people are playing, exercising, hanging out with friends and family and kids and they are happy and connected and have a culture, and it’s possible that you are a bit jealous of all that connectedness.

So. There you go.

***

That’s about it.  It was a great workout!

Monday, Monday

So. Being at the gym at 5 am is harder than it looks on paper. Well, I assume it’s harder, since I haven’t done it yet!!

Maybe, right now, this just isn’t going to work for me. So, I have a NEW PLAN!

MWF – Gym after dinner, 1 hour

T – workout at home for 30 mins – hour (depending on which DVD I decide to use)

Th – rest day

Sat- Track, early, kids in tow if need be, 1 hour

Sun – ASS KICKING with Jeff, 2 hours plus

I know this seems like a lot, but I am not just trying to lose weight, I am training for the Avon 2Day Walk that I signed up for! So it’s necessary! Apparently!!

Food Plan for today:

Brekfast: Egg, multigrain english muffin, 8 oz lowfat (1%) milk, (just can’t do skim!), grapes

Snack: protein bar

Lunch: grilled chicken wrap, salad…only used a BIT of dressing – did you know that one packet of dressing from Chick-Fil-A is 2.5 servings??????

Snack: nectarine, peanut butter (1 tbsp)

Dinner – Meatloaf patties, broccoli, carrots, potatoes

Snack (if needed after workout) Cottage cheese and grape tomoatoes

WATER WATER WATER

Gym after dinner…I am still struggling with snacking after dinner so I think exercising then will be very helpful – and kill two bird with one stone!

My husband remarked that I am spending more at Trader Joe’s and less at the Harris Teeter – which I think is a GOOD thing! Trader Joe’s is WAY CHEAPER and has much less processed food, no soda, things with no preservatives and HFCS and all that stuff. I never intended to be an HFCS activist, but it really is bad for you, along with trans-fats and preservatives and processed food – I know, I know, we have been hearing this for years.  Somehow, now, suddenly, it matters.

I don’t want my kids to deal with this the way I have to. I want them to be strong and healthy and happy. And the only place they are going to learn how to do that is at home.

Oh, and I haven’t watched Food Network all week. And holing steady at one diet coke in the middle of the day, although not DYING for it, and I have lost 6.2 pounds.

TAKE THAT, WHITE FLOUR!

Day One – Cupcake

Breakfast – 1/2 whole wheat bagel, 1 tbsp peanut butter, light yogurt, apple, 16 oz water, 2 excedrin

Snack – 16 oz water, protein bar

Lunch – Tenderloin tips, peppers and onions, 10 fries, side salad, unsweet tea

Snack – Banana and peanut butter

Dinner – 1/3 order sesame chicken and rice, 3 dumplings

After dinner – some doritos, 1/2 kit kat

Thoughts: Yay for healthy breakfast! Time to go walk for awhile at the Y (an hour).  Then mow the rest of the grass.  I tried Yoplait light Orange Creme yogurt. YUCK. DO NOT WANT!!

I do need to reframe my thoughts on morning exercise…I always said “Oh, after I work out I am useless! That’s it for the rest of the day…”  Now I will say, over and over and over…”After I work out I have a BUNCH of energy!”

Over and over and over and over!

So I worked out – 1/2 hour on the treadmill and 1/2 hour on the elliptical. I was tired and I wanted to quit after 15 minutes on the elliptical, so I did  the cool down. At the end of that, I asked myself “Do you really want to quit? Or do you have another 15 minutes in you? That’s only 4 or 5 songs….1 session of great sex….2 commercial breaks on TV…surely you can do THAT!”  So I did – and when I wanted to stop I said “Size 8 red bikini…size 8 red bikini…”

This really is all mental!

We went out for lunch and my husband was very sweet and made sure we went somewhere that had a variety of options. And we were BOTH proud of me when I chose healthily and then left the roll and the rice on my plate, limiting my carb intake.  Being a diabetic, the right balance is important.

I also gave my kids the Turtle Chex mix that had been tempting me, and it was good to get that out of my face!

For dinner, we had leftovers. I SHOULD have had the leftover London Broil, and made some veggies to go with it.  Why didn’t I? I don’t know, because it honestly SOUNDED better – but the Chinese food was going to go to waste…I have to work on that. Sometimes it’s ok to throw food away if the alternative is eating it and not feeling good about it.

After dinner, I was hungry. Or was I bored? I thought about doing something active, but I thought it might be overkill since I had already worked out in the AM.  Next time, I won’t worry about that. I will find something healthy to do instead of eating crap.

Oh yeah. I am gonna be SO FUCKING HOT!